becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
