Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
