marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
