And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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