I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Randomize
