And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
