Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
