why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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