She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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