drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
