Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
