I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
