Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
