yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
