You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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