She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
