He is an equal opportunity slut.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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