Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
