Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
