Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad

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(843): View more from South Carolina

because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock

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