do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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