so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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