I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
