just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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