btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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