Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
