She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
