Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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