ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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