Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize