Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
