none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
