if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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