so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
