First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
