dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
