I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize