I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
