This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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