her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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