his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize