Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
