Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
