i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
