He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
