bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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