i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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