bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
