I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
