she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
