If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
