You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My penis needs a shock collar
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
