Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize