what if every blade of grass was a penis?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
