It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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