His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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