Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Someone stole a lamp last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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