she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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