apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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