i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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