mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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