I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do herpes really smell.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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