Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
