Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
