i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
