You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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