found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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