For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize