i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
