You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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