It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
